Identity Crisis

OK, so I've known for a while that I've been living abroad. But sometimes it never really hits home until you have that one realization, or shall we call it epiphany? Anyway you cut it, today was that day for me.

So as I was in a hurry to class today, I threw on my Eckerd fleece and sandals as has been my daily routine. I made it to class on time with no thought to any changes to my basic days. But after class I proceeded to the library (don't worry I'm finding time for fun) I made it without any hitches and began my reading.

But as I looked out the window, I began to realize a great change, not only in myself but in my surroundings. As I glanced outside, I noticed a light snowfall begin to fall against the granite of the buildings in the background.

I then looked down and realized that I was still wearing my sandals, with holes in both soles. It was then that I had the sudden realization that I was not in Florida anymore. It finally hit me that this has been a significant alteration in my life and hopefully now in my attire. But it was a welcome thought to begin seeing the surroundings with a new appreciation and view of being authentically Scottish, not holding any American tinge towards my new home.

And I call it home, because that is what it is becoming. They say you have to walk a mile in a man's shoes before you begin to understand his life and story, and I feel this is the beginning of my transformation of becoming a global citizen. Walking that mile, it teaches you that home can be where the heart is and it's more important to make the most of where you are when you are there rather than to look back to the days past wishing for a return. Your past is always a part and hopefully a great and instrumental part of who you are; and it's important to carry that memory into a new day but it is also vital to live the new day for the day and the days to come. Only when you blend the past, present, and future can you discover the true meaning of what the day holds in its treasures. So I must say that I welcome my newfound 'identity crisis' because you have to leave a part of who you were to find out who you are.

In trying to figure out the course of life, there are many twists and turns in the process of self-discovery and direction. But one of the greatest questions I've been asked is "What's your passion?" What is it that makes you excited to get up in the mornings and tackle the day ahead? in answering that, you can find the most meaningful direction in your life.

So I've taken that question and advice with me everywhere I've gone. And I am still trying to answer the question: what is my passion? But what I've found over the past three weeks has taught me a lot about my 'passion' and about life.

I've come to realize that people are an integral part of your life, and as one door closes, it never truly slams shut. There is always the ability to look back and reminisce about the good old days. And I must say that memory is a vital and integral part of every life. It is the human capacity to reason and remember, and without that, we have very little. So the past is a part of the dictation of where we are going, but not the final call of life.

It is when you restart and begin anew that you begin to realize the important things in life like memory and friends. So I guess you could say that that's a part of my 'passion.' But life is far too complicated and complex to narrow it down to A passion. It is an evolving and ever-changing quest of discovery.

But in an attempt to find it you cannot be afraid to step outside the confines of comfort and give life a little challenge. It's not always an easy task but in the end makes you a far better person for it.

So this year has taught me to try new things and I have embraced that challenge this semester. I decided to take up curling... I figured when the days are dark and dreary what better way to spend an afternoon? It is truly a complicated yet thrilling sport that I have come to really enjoy! Off to read legal briefs on International Law and onto my quest of finding my 'passion' in life!